Many leaders today need to actively become less nice.
Writing in Harvard Business Review, Ron Ashkenas (coauthor of the Harvard Business Review Leader’s Handbook and a Partner Emeritus at Schaffer Consulting) and Gali Cooks (President & CEO, Leading Edge) note many leaders mistake being “nice” for being effective, avoiding hard conversations and decisions in ways that ultimately undermine organizational performance. They argue that being “good” instead requires clear accountability, candid feedback, disciplined decisions about roles and retention, and sustained strategic focus. Organizations that engage in these activities see stronger engagement, growth, and lasting impact.
“Kindness often means doing hard things like giving tough feedback…Niceness is about avoiding discomfort, staying agreeable, sidestepping hard conversations, and letting things slide. Kindness means the opposite.”
— Nicki Macklin, Thomas H. Lee and Amy C. Edmondson. "Why Kindness Isn’t a Nice to Have." Harvard Business Review, 2025.
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